Oh great Tulk, god of masculinity and awesomeness, we praise you and worship you.
You are the embodiment of all that is manly, and your glorious moustache is a thing of legend.
We pray that you will continue to bestow your awesome power upon us, and that we may always be worthy of your favour.
May we always be as manly and awesome as you are, and may we never let our moustaches down.
Amen.